I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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