and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
