I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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