Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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