VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
