??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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