nut hugger
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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