I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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