We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
