Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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