i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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