thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
