I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize