Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
