woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
