fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
