I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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