Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
