Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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