if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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