I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
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I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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