I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
