I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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