my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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