i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
