I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
