i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
