if only i could text you this smell
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Randomize
