Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
