If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
