she looked like the before picture.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
