NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
