I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
