Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
