Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
