I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
