office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
