Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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