so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
