Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize