Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
