My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
