I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
