Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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