It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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