Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
