butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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