My first STD was from a foam party
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
