just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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