You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
