she smelled like a LAN party
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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