I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize