So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he shaved USA in his pubs
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
