Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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