What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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