Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize