i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
