How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
