One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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