every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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