Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
