just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
