I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
