I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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