He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
