I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
