Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
